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hi!
i'm new.
i was looking at this forum some weeks ago and it seemed like a good place, so now i'm on a ledge i thought i may as well sign up - try and get some help.

i'm a gambler. i've been a compulsive gambler for about 15 years. in all this time i've lost hundreds of thousands of Euros in the machines at the bars. i've NEVER won anything.

reccently my gambling pattern's changed and it's worrying me. before i'd used to put in 50 or 100 Euros everyday. now, because i've been trying to quit, i can go for 5 or 10 days without gambling, then i loose allot of money all in one session. it seems i'm unable to stop.

i'm in trouble now. i have no money left. bills to pay. months behind with my rent. car repairs to pay. etc ect.
i had some money set aside for my rent but i've just lost that.

why do i do this? you'd think that after one time you loose some money in the machine you might think "ok". the second time you might also think "ok". but perhaps after the third or fourth time you might beging to question what you're doing.
i've only started to question my actions now, that i have no money left.
how could i have been so stupid.....

could somebody please somehow help me to quit this terrible vice.

Hello Aldo and welcome to the site.

If you read past postings you will find the answers you are looking for and helpful advice on how to overcome this addiction.

Unfortunately most of us leave getting help for our 'out of control gambling' as a last resort so don't feel too bad about leaving it for so long to get help.

I have been gamble free for months because of this site and I can now say with certainty that I will never gamble again. You can win this battle if you are dedicated to your recovery and know what it is you are fighting so read previous postings to arm yourself with knowledge and prepare to do battle against the gambling demon!

There is a much, much better life waiting for you I promise, you just have to go to battle to get from here to there.

Read old posts, learn from other gamblers experiences and continue to post on here as often as you can.

THE ONLY WINNERS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T BET!

thanks

Hi Aldo congratulations for taking your first stepsand posting on this site.
As roses66 says read old posts its all there.
I was like you in my gambling sessions at first they were every day then infrequent but desperate and huge amounts of money i think the infrequent sessions wre the beginning of the end one way or another.
Its not easy but you can do it keep posting

john

Hi Aldo,
I had the same experience as you and John where I went from gambling small amounts often to large amounts less frequently and I agree with John that it is part of the quitting of the habit. It can be done and you will have a much better life when you do finally give it up. I have been gamble free for over seven months now, with the help of this site and self excluding myself from the venues where I gambled. Keep posting and we will all help you through the tough times.

John & Hocko,
I don't understand. are yous saying that playing less frequently but loosing larger ammounts is actually a positive thing, as it means i'm really ready to quit?
i've been feeling so "guilty" (or something like that. i'm not exactly sure) during the past few weeks, because i lost my rent money ect.
i just need to somehow break the vicious circle....
i don't live in NZ. and, unfortunatly, here where i live it's not possible to have yourself banned from a bar.

Hi aldo.
what it means is that for me i had less time but was more desperate so gambled bigger but less often so it was actually worse ;
For me that was the low point downward spiral.It doesnt mean you are going to stop that comes from you no one else.
There is no easdy way magic time or anything you have to stop
Hope this helps

john

Hi Aldo,

It is different with everyone, but with me, the fact that I could go longer each time between gambling was a positive one, even though I was gambling larger amounts then. Everytime I gambled it became longer and longer between each session until one day "the light bulb went off in my head" and I said enough is enough and I haven't gambled since. Do you have a trusted friend or family member who you can talk to? You need to reduce your access to money, therefore if you can find that trusted person, ask them if they will hold on to your credit and debit cards and deal out the money to you as you need it to pay bills. That will safeguard what you have left after paying the bills. I did this and once I was in control of the situation, I asked for my cards back. Several times I felt a huge temptation to go to gamble again, so I gave the cards back for a short period of time until I felt I was able to handle the urges. You can try a lot of different methods to give up until you find the one for you. Read back through earlier posts on this site and you will find many suggestions. You need to be strong and you are the only one you can make yourself stop. We are here to help you along the way, and believe me, there is a beautiful world out there which you will find again.

Hi Aldo welcome to this site. Like you, I came to this site to find help & I am very happy to tell you .... I found it here. I also thank God every day for these wonderful people that post here! They showed me they cared enough about others to keep sharing tips & advice... so Aldo, I sincerely hope you find solice and assistance here too.

When I first sought help, I posted on this site nearly every day just so I had somewhere to let all my thoughts out! I couldn't talk to my family as they didn't understand & was too ashamed in what I had become.

I image you must be having conversations with yourself in your head. I know, I know... I have been there my friend. It's wierd aye... it's like your good luck charm whispering "ok buddy ... tonights your night let's just go one more time... " Honestly Aldo... that voice is NOT your buddy... it's a sick little **** who is also there at the end of a win less night saying "nevermind buddy... tomorrow we will win" knowing very well ... you aren't.

Don't give in my friend... don't listen to that voice. You have to ask yourself... am I willing to make the changes to really really beat this?

Do you really want to stop gambling? Do you really? If yes you do Aldo... then be prepared to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT...

If you get the urge to go gamble... phone a friend, family member or clean your house or watch TV or have a nap or read a book... go for a run, do anything.. something to stop you from going to the gambling venue.

Write...write...write. Get your thoughts down on paper... onto this site so that it doesn't go round and round in your mind.

You have to STARVE the urges... STARVE THE BUG.....
it's going to get tougher I can tell you that before it gets better. BE STRONG... and be PATIENT with yourself.

I am now 4months gamble free and this site is what got me here but it wasn't easy. I had to FIGHT myself all the way but I am here now and I am not taking it lightly.

Oh that voice sometimes tries to rise up in me once in a blue moon, and I just knock it on the head. My life is too valuable to go back to there.

I also said goodbye to the money I lost and I consider it a divorce settlement. I feel great because I don't dwell on the $$ lost as it will take me back down ... so instead, I have made peace with myself and although it was hard.... I have learnt to forgive myself for what I did to me and my family.

We all make mistakes... it's what we do next that matters.

Life is too short to beat myself up about it. I am clean now and I have a whole life ahead of me to get on with so I have closed that chapter in my life.

All the best friend... Roses66, John, Hockno and many others helped me when I first cried out for help...... and we are all here to help you!

Be strong and kind to yourself... one minute, one hour, one day at a time!

Just think how great your life is going to be!

Hello everyone!

Reality you made me laugh out loud when I read where you look at the lost money as a divorce settlement! lol. That is hilarious but oh so true. It was a bad marriage from the get go and worth every cent to be rid of the gambling demon! lol.

Aldo take heart. You are definitely on the road to recovery because the walls of denial are crumbling. The fact that you have actually gone to the step of becoming a member on this site and have posted means you are half way to becoming gamble free because many people just read the postings on here, convince themselves that they can get their gambling under control and then go on wasting their lives and their money. Give credit where credit is due, you are finally taking steps to gain control of this thing so give yourself a big pat on the back.

To all of the other people reading this who are still cloaked in denial, don't kid yourself. You need what we have to offer you on here and the faster you can break down the walls of denial, the faster you will have your life back. Look at it this way, if gambling wasn't a problem for you, how did you end up reading postings on this site? If the thought of never having to stress over lost money again is something that resonates in you then you need to own what is going on and join this wonderful group of people on here who have been where you are and who now take the time to help others get their life back just as they have done.
It is a genuine helping hand you are offered on this site because we all know how devastating it is to be lost in the world of gambling. It's a very lonely place you are in so take the hand we offer you and post on here. I promise you won't regret it.

Take care everyone and until next time remember....

THE ONLY WINNERS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T BET!